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The WRONG Business

By JGillman, Section News
Posted on Thu Mar 31, 2011 at 12:15:10 PM EST
Tags: Auotmobiles, Cars, Perambulators, Government Motors, Stabenow, Heat Miser, Michigan, Rebate, Payoff, Jobs, and more Jobs, $7500, Suckers, Washington, Electric, Pedestrians, Green, Carbon Footie, Clunkers (all tags)

Folks, I have to tell you, we are in the wrong business. To heck with any kind of advancements in technology, going backward is where it's at.

In the as yet unfinished fight to produce vehicles that are 'green' and have little carbon footprint, our automakers have been encouraged by the administration to produce a slew of not-ready-for-prime-time electric cars that not only cost too much, but go about 40 miles tops, with engines that might be better suited towards kitchen blenders or hand held power tools. Michigan automakers have really gone to he!! in a hand basket.

I hold nothing against the volt, really. It serves the purpose of salving eco guilt for some, and might even have a future, but the failed efforts of the government to convince enough buyers through rebates and credits of $7,000.00 are a perfect example of why we do not let government types choose which products are best for us. The credits failed so miserably, that makers of the Chevy Volt are worried about the expiration of those credits after today.

I would be too. But..

Our very own heat miser Debbie Stabenow has a revitalization plan for the sagging sales for the volt. Stabenow wants to offer immediate CASH payments as an incentive going forward.

Recent reports find that General Motors (GM) is lobbying for the passage of legislation by Michigan Senator Debbie Stabenow that would turn a $7,500 electric vehicle tax credit into a rebate that will be available to all consumers at the point of sale. It's been dubbed "Cash for Clunkers II".
Right now, the $7,500 tax credit can only be redeemed at the end of the year when taxes are filed, and are applicable to purchases of the Chevrolet Volt. Apparently, Chevy is not pleased with its sales -- 321 units sold in January and 281 in February -- out of 30,000 cars made for 2011, and a planned 45,000 to be made in 2012.

So.. No worries right?

What could possibly go wrong?

In fact, I think even as I write this, I am turning the corner on my hardened right wing views. I suppose its time I apologize to Senator Stabenow for all the mean things I have said in the past. You know, redemption in the eyes of those who just want to put Michigan to work is my desired goal now. By golly, I pledge to be a better citizen, and a positive role model for the Keynesian philanthropy that is sure to light up Michigan's industrial center once again.

I am going into the car making business.

A $7500 credit for a car that uses little or no gas, fuels from home, has a small carbon footprint. Whats not to be positive about? Add to this a lot of jobs created and moving Michigan's economy along again, it seems this is the logical next step.

I've been kicking around a design for a while now, and with the instant cash on purchase, I would bet we could get some folks back working again!

But FIRST, a video of Stabenow announcing the plan I intend to capitalize on.

Innovation. I like that.

So much so, it is time I roll out the newest member of the Government Motor's fleet of innovative vehicles!

I present to you the Pedestrian Powered Perambulator!

MSRP $6,999.99 Plus Tax & Title. (rebate cash at time of purchase)

Concept image VERY CLOSE to final product. Please click on the image to read the fine print.

< Michigan's Crazy Drunk Uncle | German Specialists For Our Prisons >

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The WRONG Business | 7 comments (7 topical, 0 hidden)

Sorry Jason (none / 0) (#1)
by Rougman on Thu Mar 31, 2011 at 02:12:02 PM EST

A vehicle that burns no gas but still requires a road to travel on will not generate adequate revenues to maintain our infrastructure or to pay for the rebate. How will you handle this problem?

I also must note that there appears to be no seat belts, turning signals, or side-impact airbags on this particular model. While the EPA might very well approve, I'm certain the NHTSA will have at least some issues. And seriously, do you intend to include protective footwear with every unit?

And, while I appreciate your intended usage of Michigan quarry and timber materials to produce what might otherwise be a viable transportation option (that is, after complying with myriad government concerns) I'm not so certain that quarrying rock and harvesting timber carry with them the "zero carbon footprint" you are intending to attain. Will there be any erosion at the mining sites? Will you plant replacement trees for those killed to produce your vehicle? Also, why do you hate the beavers?

No, Jason, it's back to the drawing board with you. Next time I hope you will concern yourself with the health of the social state, transportation safety, and the environment at least as much as you are concerned with greedily lining your own pockets by victimizing the people. By the way, you are a filthy capitalist pig.

Buzz kill. by JGillman, 03/31/2011 02:16:48 PM EST (none / 0)
Roads? by Corinthian Scales, 03/31/2011 03:41:28 PM EST (none / 0)

Yabba Dabba Booze Cruise (none / 0) (#3)
by jgillmanjr on Thu Mar 31, 2011 at 02:31:36 PM EST

...

Sorry, work makes me get a weird twitch sometimes.

Care for a battery with that? (none / 0) (#4)
by Corinthian Scales on Thu Mar 31, 2011 at 02:57:39 PM EST

Don't overlook the backside issue to the Government Motors Cash for Clunkers II... Stabenow is also promoting Dependency on Foreign Metals.

At least the Democrats are consistent on America's energy policy... we can't drill for our oil and we ran our mining operations out of business for the material necessary to build their GreenTard Mobiles.

Senator Lisa Murkowski, Ranking Member of the Senate Energy and National Resources Committee, takes up the theme: "As we debate ways to reduce gas prices and provide relief to American families and businesses, this report should be required reading for every member of Congress." How about for every American citizen too, Senator? Murkowski adds, "For the sake of our national security, our economy, and the world's environment, we need to explore and develop more of our own resources."

I'm on Murkowski's side?!?! Holy crap! I gotta go check and see if hell actually did freeze over...