Thank goodness for the Livingston County Democrats.  

Late last week the Livingston Daily reported on what was to be a three-way battle to unseat Green Oak Township Supervisor Mark St. Charles.  I don't know Mr. St. Charles and I don't know his politics but based on the quality of his opponents I'm going to assume he's a fine individual.  

See, both challengers were disqualified the day after the filing deadline because they had too few valid signatures to actually put their names on the ballot.  The challengers?  The first was Planning Commissioner John Mogelnicki, apparently a Republican, though my inquiries with local County Party officials couldn't find a single person with more than a passing familiarity with his name.

The second?  Livingston County Democratic Party Chariman Matthew Evans.

Both wound up with enough invalid signatures to knock them clean off the ballot. Not exactly the way Mr. Evans planned on things going this campaign cycle. Mogelnicki?  Who knows about him.  According to the paper the man signed his and Evans' petition.  Mix that with his obscurity among the Party faithful and I'm not saying he's one of those "run as a Republican because it's the only way to win" guys... but.... If Mr. Evans wanted Mr. St. Charles gone it'd probably be good politics to find an "R" to help split his vote.  Just saying.

Either way, Evans intentions were clear.  The man wanted to win this thing.  

Yeah, so much for that.  

Which is funny and heart warming in it's own right, but wait, it gets better.

You, fair reader, are wondering... to get kicked off the ballot the man must have had a boat load of signatures invalidated, right?  Wrong.  Only 5.  The man only submitted five invalid signatures.  Which normally isn't a problem.  Petitions 101: Build a big cushion!

And it's not like that would have been difficult.  The total number of valid signatures needed to stick your name on this ballot?  Wait for it... wait... wait... ready?  Twenty (20)!

I know I've done politics for a few years and I've done my fair share of petition gathering so take this for what it's worth... but any adult human being in a region as densely populated as Michigan should be able to round up twenty valid signatures in thirty minutes.  

But I don't know Mr. Evans.  Maybe he's disabled.  Maybe he walks really slowly. Maybe he has habits or other personal characteristics that immediately drive strangers in the other direction.  Anything's possible.  So maybe it should have taken him two hours.  

However long it took, he rounded up 23 signatures and 5 of them were no good. Bye bye ballot and so long Supervisor's slot.  And what with him being the local county party chair I have no problem in assuming it couldn't have happened to a nicer set of political values.  The people of Green Oak Township thank you for your laziness and apithy.

Me?  I thank you for your wild conspiracy theories and rampant paranoia, too.

Evans said he will review the matter with the attorney for the state Democratic Party.

"They're going to have opposition in November by hook or by crook. They may have won this round, but I will be on the ballot in November," Evans said of the all-Republican Board of Trustees.

The all-Republican Board of Trustees, for those of you wondering, had zero, zilch and nada to do with Mr. Evans disqualification.  I mean, nothing.  The local clerk identified the invalid signatures during his review of the documents (all two petition forms, assuming he filled the first one).

Update [2008-5-19 12:36:8 by Nick]:The original blog entry stated that the local clerk does not sit on the BoT. MEA CULPA. He does. So I suppose one could draw some sort of connection between the Clerk's actions and claim that it was a part of a broader board conspiracy. But I still think this next idea's a better bet...

So what's Evans prattling on about?  Your guess is as good as mine, though I've given this some thought and I've come up with a doozy.

I don't live in Livingston County.  Never have.  And while I've probably driven through Green Oak, maybe even stopped off for coffee once or twice, I've never hung around for very long.  It could very well be that the trustees hold some sort of magical embrace over the other township officials.  

Maybe they're actually a secret coven of witches and warlocks who cast incantations designed to force people like Mr. Evans to round up invalid signatures and then to sit on their backsides, ignoring the opportunity to build a safe margin.

If that's the case, I hope the good Chairman will accept my sincerest apologies. Although it's probably a good thing he won't be elected this fall.  Imagine if they really could control his mind... the terrible power they'd wield through his position as Supervisor.  Oh the humanity!