First, smokers cannot light up their disgusting cancer stick and billow smoke within 10,000 feet of another human being.

Second,  all smokers will only use designated drinking fountains in public places.  We don't want their lips within 8 inches of our precious water, what with the nicotine and tar molecules that may linger.

And when that gets done, who shall we go after next?

The drive is already on to demonize cell phone use, so we can start there.  Here's some arguments to condition people for the inevitable legislation:

1. I don't want to pay for your brain cancer.  Your rights end when you put that radioactive, noise polluting device to your head.

2. I shouldn't have to go to a restaurant or a mall or any other store and have to deal with the loud talking, lewd language, or general inconsideration of these idiots that are carrying their brain cancer weapons.  I shouldn't have to move out of their way at the grocery store because they are blocking the aisle, and I shouldn't have to go out in public and hear all those obnoxious ringtones.

3. Driving while talking is worse than drinking, and not only should it be a primary offense, but it should entail jail time.  There is nothing these people have to say that is important.

4. "Studies" have shown that the economy will improve when we ban cell phones, because all the shoppers that we have lost and the tremendous income we've lost because of the rudeness of these cads who jabber on all day are making people give up on going out in public.

5. "I don't want your second hand brain cancer." bumper stickers.