Be cautious if you observe the following individuals operating in your general vicinity.

Randolph & Mortimore Duke

Be aware that Randolph & Mortimore Duke have been engaged in a number of illegal activities including:  theft, bribery, trafficking in illegal substances and using misappropriated government information to trade in the commodity markets.

Robert Underdunk Terwilliger

Robert Underdunk Terwilliger has been tried and convicted armed robbery, attempted murder (numerous times) and malicious destruction of public property (i.e. Springfield Dam).

Thomas Brian Reynolds

Thomas Brian Reynolds ha íñæ  ÿÿ      Rober ..--ŢDean ŢƔLjŁĐʦʰʚγγϨ    кдЪЪӼӿԂԂԂѷѷѷѷ
143;ѷѷѷѷѷ  ҉ỄỄạỆỆṬṬṬ℗℗⅍

ҧғҚѥѣѣԄⱣⱠⱪⱪ♣♣ϖ 7;♣..

{Note: Your IP Address has been logged by Homeland Security. Please do not move so that DHS can initiate processing}

And finally Chief Physician.

Chief Physician has....well, um.....

...er, acted badly like a doctor in a B-movie?

We encourage facility members, party hierarchy and potential Republican Primary voters to remain vigilant and report suspicious activities and behaviors that may indicate a potential threat.

###

Okay, enough fun here.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and make a guess that most of you reading this are reasonably intelligent and are able to tell fact from what comes out of the business end of a bull.

This is the best way I can describe the faux-seriousness coming from the Cassis Campaign.

Those people who have trouble discerning fact from fantasy better go here.

...

Welcome back.

In an article that I just happened to barely caught a glimpse of while walking out of the driver's room this morning, the Cassis Campaign is going all out to distract attention away from the fact that their candidate has baggage. Lots of baggage. I'm talking the plane can't get off the damn ground there's so much baggage.

Short recap of the article.

About a year ago, CD-11 candidate Kerry Bentivolio was ACTING in a B-movie called "The President Goes to Heaven".

I'm not even sure if it was a straight-to-video release. I needed to DL a copy to even watch it.

According to IMDB, here's the plot summary of the movie:

"This is the story of the President who was more powerful than God. He ruled the world with an iron fist. But getting into heaven is not easy even for him. All the laws he made for others to follow turns to his detriment. Everything that was done to ruin him turns out to be his salvation. What the President has to do to get into heaven?"

...

Well, the Cassis Campaign needed something to generate some traction before their defeat, so they adopted Saul Alinsky's Rule No. 5.

In today's Detroit Free Press, Cassis' spokesman, David Mroz, was quoted on Friday:

"I don't think there is any hiding the fact that that person in the film was supposed to be President Bush. It's disgraceful and disrespectful of a former president. It's not funny in the slightest."

...

Sorry, Dave.

But Rule No. 5 only works when people aren't aware of the fact that you're using it against them.

Besides, if Junior somehow grew a beard, lost some hair, was married to a morally bereft excuse of a wife and a few things not mentioned in the articles in the local papers, you might have had an argument there.

Back to the drawing board for you and the rest of your campaign.

Hey, I know. Maybe you can try spinning Nancy's vote on the MBT? Or, how about her vote to establish the EITC here in Michigan. Why not her vote to allow local governments the ability to borrow money to pay for labor agreements they couldn't afford? WITHOUT A VOTE OF THE TAXPAYERS!

I'm sure you must LOVE spending other people's money. Why not tell us about it?

Hey, while you're at it, why not come up with some ideas on how we can get the Detroit Institute of Arts Tax crushed, the super-majority vote required for tax hikes, or that bridge amendment passed?